Ten Words Used Most Often By US Presidents In Their Inauguration Speeches

1. Obama: "Nation"
2. Bush: "Freedom"
3. Lincoln (1st): "Constitution"
4. Clinton: "Century"
5. Reagan: "Government"
6. Lincoln (2nd): "War"
7. Kennedy: "Side"
8: Jefferson: "American"
9: Cleveland: "People"
10: Washington: "Oath"

Gregg Wallace's Ten Best Moments

1. "It's like a lemon has just picked you up by the ears and given you a big snog."
2. "I'll quite happily lay down in it and have a sleep."
3. "That is the most perfect chocolate pudding as I have ever sunk my lips into."
4. "...Whaaaaey, it's still coming."
5. "I have a rather large mouth, but that's a lot to get in."
6. "That bird is so moist, and there's little pockets of zing, zing, zing..."
7. "There are fruit coolies running through her veins."
8. "Beefy, beefy mushrooms!"
9. "Ooh, that has flicked every one of my switches."
10. "I want to take a running jump into it."

Ten Rutger Hauer Films You May Have Missed

1. Terror In The Aisles (1984)
2. The Blood Of Heroes (1990)
3. The Beans Of Egypt, Maine (1994)
4. Dracula III: Legacy (2005)
5. Omega Doom (1997)
6. Flying Virus (2001)
7. Bone Daddy (1998)
8. New World Disorder (1999)
9. Mariette In Ecstasy (1996)
10. Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal (2001)

Ten Unfortunate Presidents

1. William Harry Harrison, 1841
Read the longest inaugural address in history in freezing weather; died of pneumonia a month later
2. Zachary Taylor, 1849-1850
Died of food poisoning from canapes at a July 4 party
3. Benjamin Harrison, 1889-1893
So scared of new-fangled electricity he refused to turn the White House lights off at night
4. James Buchanan, 1857-1861
Appointed his niece First Lady as he was a bachelor
5. Woodrow WiIson, 1913-1921
Won a Nobel Peace Prize despite openly supporting the Ku Klux Klan
6. William H Taft, 1909-1913
The most obese President; once got stuck in the White House bath
7. John Tyler, 1841-1845
Campaigned under the slogan "Log Cabins and Hard Cider"
8. Millard Fillmore, 1850-1853
Having failed to win the nomination of his own party for a second term, he stood as the Know Nothing candidate in 1856
9. Warren Harding, 1921-1923
Consistently voted the worst US President due to his verbal gaffes and corruption scandals
10. George Bush, 2001-2009
Worst Presidential approval rating in history (20%)

Ten Stunning Revelations From Rafa Benitez

1. Fergie intimidates referees
2. The 'respect' campaign is a load of old bollocks
3. Bears shit in woods
4. The Pope is catholic
5. It's not a good time to be in the banking business
6. Hamas and Israel don't seem to get on very well
7. We've had warmer Januarys
8. Coolio is a bit annoying on that Big Brother show
9. Night follows day
10. The whole Sarah Palin thing kind of back-fired

The Ten Busiest Months On The Lister*

1. January 2006 (31 posts)
2. February 2006 (16 posts)
3. December 2005 (14 posts)
4= March 2006 (10 posts)
4= May 2006 (10 posts)
6. June 2006 (9 posts)
7. November 2007 (8 posts)
8= April 2006 (7 posts)
8= July 2006 (7 posts)
8= April 2007 (7 posts)

*AKA a desperate attempt to keep my post rate up

Human Population Counts From Battlestar Galactica

1. Day 1: 20,000,000,000
2. Day 6: 50,298
3. Day 10: 47,958
4. Day 51: 47,875
5. Day 174: 49,605
6. Day 280: 44,035
7. Day 650: 43,400
8. Day 800: 41,435
9. Day 1,100: 39,698
10. Day 1,166: 39,665

Ten Places You Can See Swastikas in the UK

1. Around the dome of the BBC's Bush House
2. Along the gates at the back of the Royal Academy
3. On every Maharishi product
4. Around Manchester's Central Library
5. On Baden-Powell's Medal of Merit for Scouts (c1922)
6. On the Swastika Stone, Ilkley moor, Yorkshire
7. As the emblem of the British National War Savings Committee from WWI
8. On the war memorial at Balmoral Castle
9. On the dust jacket of Rudyard Kipling's books
10. In the floor tiles of NatWest bank, Derby Street, Bolton

Ten One-Line Reviews

1. Changeling: Angelina Jolie shouts a bit too much
2. Mamma Mia: Only the out of tune men fully grasp the concept of a karaoke movie
3. Revolutionary Road: Getting Married? May as well kill yourself now
4. In Bruges: "Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf" = line of the year
5. Milk: Sean Penn for Mayor
6. Frost/Nixon: They can't have been that amateur, surely?
7. The 39 Steps (2008 TV version): Worst use of a ventriloquist's dummy ever
8. No Country For Old Men: Should have finished 20 mins sooner
9. The Duchess: She's quite good you know
10. Generation Game (1970s rerun); Best thing on telly all Christmas

Ten Signs I'm Middle Aged

1. Tutting at Radio One
2. Really wanting to stay in on New Year's Eve
3. Feeling 100% relaxed and calling the officer 'mate' when being pulled over for a random festive breathalyser
4. Getting irate about any band that has a swearword in their title
5. Siding with the Daily Mail over Wossgate
6. Being more concerned about getting back to feed the cats than having 'one for the road'
7. Thinking 'one for the road' is a really irresponsible phrase, especially given (3)
8. Having my eyes on a nice cardie in the January sales
9. Not thinking I'd miss out on anything by moving to the countryside
10. Realising my age is half the average national life expectancy

Ten Uses For The Extra Second The Boffins Have Given Us For New Year's Eve*

1. Shout "HAPP…"
2. Make an eleventh resolution
3. Add "…ryingoutloud" to the F-word you just shouted
4. Swiftly cross your fingers after that promise you just made
5. Pour yourself a second's more wine into the glass
6. Rewind the Ian Faith/"money talks" bit from Spinal Tap
7. Try and work out the second line to Auld Lang Syne
8. Try and point out that you hadn't read the new issue of The Word magazine when you wrote that last post
9. Listen to one of these again
10. Have another second in bed

* See here for extra second news

Ten Alternative Phrases Almost As Stupid As The Credit Crunch

1. The Economic Eek
2. The Financial Filibuster
3. The Dollar Doldrum
4. The Market Mayhem
5. The Bank Balls-up
6. The Sub-Prime Sucker-Punch
7. The Sterling Stunner
8. The Treasury Trump
9. The Lehman Lemming
10. The Realty Recession

Ten Shops I Used To look Forward To Visiting*

1. Exeter Pram & Toy Shop
2. BOY
3. Fat Cat
4. HyperHyper
5. Michiko Koshino
6. Tower Records
7. Casio G-Shock Shop
8. Ray's Jazz
9. Kensington Market
10. Soul II Soul

*That Aren't There Anymore. Or At Least Not Where They Used To Be. You Get My Drift.

Ten Things I'm Afraid I Need To Buy On National Buy Nothing Day

1. A present for my mum's birthday
2. And perhaps a card too
3. And the postage
4. Cat Litter
5. Toffee Nut Latte*
6. Breakfast sandwich
7. Newspaper
8. Bus fare to Highgate
9. Pub lunch
10. And perhaps half a pint too please, mister bar guy

*I tell you what, I won't have cream on top. How's that?

Ten Hobbies and Professions of BNP Members (Other Than Policeman)

1. Manager: petrol filling station (Class 1 snooker referee)
2. Distribution driver (Royal Mail). Active Odinist/member of Pagan organisations
3. Retired local government officer. Static caravan on East Coast
4. Driving instructor (discount for BNP members)
5. Business owner (antiquities) / Lord. Has two suits of medieval 14th & 15th century armour and can joust for rallies
6. Mobile DJ with singing partner, snakes & spiders
7. Hobbies: criminal justice system, bowls
8. Member describes himself as a witch: potential embarrassment if active
9. Hobbies: walking, Tai Chi Chuan. Buddhist, interested in Daoism
10. Slaughterman (NVQS in slaughtering)

Ten of the First Books Ever Printed in English

1. Recuyell of the Historyes of Troye (1473)
2. Game and Playe of the Chesse (1474)
3. Chaucer's Canterbury Tales (1476)
4. Dictes or Sayengis of the Philosophres (1477)
5. Boke of Histories of Jason (1477)
6. History of Godefrey of Boloyne and the Conquest of Iherusalem (1481)
7. The Golden Legend (1483)
8. The Book of the Knight in the Tower (1484)
9. The English Charlemagne Romances, Parts III and IV, The Lyf of the Noble and Crysten Prynce Charles the Grete (1485)
10. The Fayttes of Armes and of Chyualrye (1489)

Ten Good Places To Write Those Books Below

1. Rejkajvik
2. Ferry Cottage, Cliveden
3. Topsham
4. Okehampton
5. Lausanne
6. Paros
7. The White House, Aston Munslow
8. Casa Malaparte
9. Dungeness
10. Here

Ten Provisional Book Titles

1. The Great British Tree Biography
2. Hackneyed
3. The Diet
4. Septimius Severus: The African Emperor
5. Twelfth Man (12 plays about cricket)
6. The Cuckoo Nest
7. Production Hell
8. The Prince Regent Cookbook
9. Unusual Comedy: The Magical World Of Michael Head
10. All Fiction Is Lying

Ten Terrible Alternative Names For New Order*

1. Mau Mau
2. Junta Black Watch
3. The Truth
4. Instant Karma
5. Anti-People
6. Maxim Gorky
7. Angry Brigade
8. Radical Jesuits
9. Complex
10. Teutonic Knights

*AS considered by their manager Rob Gretton. Courtesy of The Word magazine

Ten Unforeseen Consequences Of The Global Recession

1. I might finally finish that Battlestar Galactica Boxset
2. Those tinned peaches at the back of the cupboard might see some more action
3. The holiday to Iceland might be back on
4. Starbucks will probably have to turn that tap off
5. Newcastle could be stuck with Kinnear longer than they expected
6. I can illegally download that ridiculously overpriced Dylan album without feeling guilty
7. 'Mandelson Has Gallstones' becomes national headline news
8. No-one seems to care about those polar bears any more, least of all George Bush
9. Hip hop ditches the whole bling thing and gets back to being good again
10. Bernie Ecclestone has just the one boiled egg (plus soldiers) for breakfast