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Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Ten Questions That Would Be Really Silly To Say 'Yes' To On The US DS-160 Immigration Form

1. Do you seek to engage in terrorist activities while in the United States or have you ever engaged in terrorist activities?
2. Have you ordered, incited, committed, assisted or otherwise participated in genocide?

3. Have you ever engaged in the recruitment of child soldiers?
4. Are you coming to the United States to engage in prostitution or unlawful commercialised vice or have you been engaged in prostitution or procuring prostitutes within the past 10 years?
5. Have you ever withheld custody of a US citizen child outside of the United States from a person granted legal custody by a US Court?
6. Have you ever renounced your United States citizenship for the purpose of avoiding taxation?
7. Do you seek to engage in espionage, sabotage, export control violations, or any other illegal activity while in the United States?
8. Have you ever committed, ordered, incited, assisted, or otherwise participated in extrajudicial killings, political killings, or other acts of violence?
9. Have you ever been involved in, or do you seek to engage in, money laundering?
10. Have you ever been directly involved in the coercive transplantation of human organs or bodily tissue?
Courtesy of the DS-160 Form

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

The Ten Best Descriptions of Samuel T Herring from Future Islands I've Seen Online

Ten brilliant comments about Future Island's lead singer following their 'captivating' David Letterman appearance

1. New Order fronted by Pere Ubu's David Thomas
2. Marlon Brando method acting Jimmy Sommerville
3. Jack Black on mushrooms
4. Henry Rollins at Wigan Casino
5. (Everton manager) Roberto Martinez at the end of season disco
6. Shaun "Barry from EastEnders" Williamson having eaten Ian Curtis
7. Fozzie Bear fronting a Killers tribute band
8. Like 'Gangnam Style' for Pitchfork readers
9. A cross between Morrissey and Steve Pemberton (of the League of Gentleman)
10. "My old maths teacher"