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Thursday, April 27, 2006

The Ten Greatest Corporate Training Videos Ever*

1. But I Don't Have Any Customers
2. Would I Follow Me?
3. More Bloody Meetings
4. I'd Like A Word With You
5. It's Not Just About Sex Anymore
6. After All, You're The Supervisor!
7. Either Way You're Right
8. Give 'Em The Pickle!
9. And When You Fall
10. Finding The 'Up' In Upheaval

*All titles available via

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Ten Cold And Heartless Facts

1. You're fatter and older than you imagine yourself to be.
2. You'll never have a number one single.
3. Your best days are behind you.
4. You're never going to afford that yacht.
5. A kickaround in the park is the highest sporting achievement you can aspire to.
6. The only book inside you is a sadly derivative amateur effort.
7. You never could dance at the best of times: now it's frankly embarassing.
8. That person you've got your eye on is looking straight through you.
9. You can't beat The Man.
10. You're more like your parents than you'd like to admit.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Ten Reasons For The Decline And Fall Of TV

1. Too many lists
2. More shouty people than professorial types
3. 'Friends' repeats 24/7
4. Tendency to think that the fly on the wall format is in itself a stroke of comedy genius
5. Bizarre belief that catchphrases get better with repetition
6. Conviction that well-known 'Jack of All Trades' aphorism doesn't apply to celebrities
7. Reithian principles abandoned in favour of the Blobbyian
8. The steady and ignoble demotion of TOTP
9. The lack of country-wide programming a la 'Nationwide'
10. That brilliant bald bloke from 'Saturday Kitchen' losing his job to Anthony Worrall Thompson

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Ten Cambrian Mountain Villages I Bet You Can't Say Without Spitting

1. Llanfihangel-yng-Ngwynfa
2. Rhydycroesau
3. Penisarcwn
4. Deuddwr
5. Llanstanffraid-ym-Mechain
6. Lechrydau
7. Llanrhyaeadr-ym-Mochnant
8. Llynclys
9. Pentre’r Beirdd
10. Llanymawddwy

Welsh Appreciation courtesy of the Wedding Planner

Monday, April 17, 2006

Ten Things the Romans Weren't Clever Enough To Invent

1. The Duckworth-Lewis Method
2. The Four-Blade Razor
3. Post-Punk
4. The Fuel-Injection Engine
5. Braille
6. The Three Strikes You're Out Policy
7. Silver Goal Extra Time
8. Betamax
9. The George Foreman Griddle Pan
10. The North Circular

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Ten Words I Always Thought Were Pronounced Differently Until I Heard Them Spoken Aloud

1. Epitome
2. Marquis
3. Indubitably
4. Indictment
5. Bouillabaisse
6. Grosvenor
7. Efficacy
8. Evisu
9. Anathema
10. McMahon

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Ten Great Opening Lines

1. "Alright Curly, enough's enough." (Chinatown, 1974)
2. "Will you just watch the hair?" (Saturday Night Fever, 1977)
3. "This is the universe. Big isn't it?" (Stairway to Heaven, 1946)
4. "Somebody's comin', Pah." (Shane, 1953)
5. "Do not drink wine nor strong drink." (The Wild Bunch, 1969)
6. "I believe in America." (The Godfather, 1972)
7. "Radar!" (M*A*S*H, 1970)
8. "Who are you?" "I am death" (The Seventh Seal, 1956)
9. "Take off your clothes." (The Unbearable Lightness of Being, 1988)
10. "There's an old joke..." (Annie Hall, 1977)