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Sunday, October 12, 2008

Ten Good Places To Write Those Books Below

1. Rejkajvik
2. Ferry Cottage, Cliveden
3. Topsham
4. Okehampton
5. Lausanne
6. Paros
7. The White House, Aston Munslow
8. Casa Malaparte
9. Dungeness
10. Here

Ten Provisional Book Titles

1. The Great British Tree Biography
2. Hackneyed
3. The Diet
4. Septimius Severus: The African Emperor
5. Twelfth Man (12 plays about cricket)
6. The Cuckoo Nest
7. Production Hell
8. The Prince Regent Cookbook
9. Unusual Comedy: The Magical World Of Michael Head
10. All Fiction Is Lying

Ten Terrible Alternative Names For New Order*

1. Mau Mau
2. Junta Black Watch
3. The Truth
4. Instant Karma
5. Anti-People
6. Maxim Gorky
7. Angry Brigade
8. Radical Jesuits
9. Complex
10. Teutonic Knights

*AS considered by their manager Rob Gretton. Courtesy of The Word magazine

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Ten Unforeseen Consequences Of The Global Recession

1. I might finally finish that Battlestar Galactica Boxset
2. Those tinned peaches at the back of the cupboard might see some more action
3. The holiday to Iceland might be back on
4. Starbucks will probably have to turn that tap off
5. Newcastle could be stuck with Kinnear longer than they expected
6. I can illegally download that ridiculously overpriced Dylan album without feeling guilty
7. 'Mandelson Has Gallstones' becomes national headline news
8. No-one seems to care about those polar bears any more, least of all George Bush
9. Hip hop ditches the whole bling thing and gets back to being good again
10. Bernie Ecclestone has just the one boiled egg (plus soldiers) for breakfast