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Monday, August 14, 2006

Ten Uninspiring Dulux Heritage Paint Colours

1. Waiting Room Green
2. Light Buff
3. Biscuit Beige
4. Panel White
5. Linen Colour
6. Drab
7. Eau De Nil
8. Tin White
9. Lead Colour
10. Dark Brown

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Ten B-Movies Yet To Have US College Bands Named After Them

1. The Abominable Dr Phibes (1971)
2. The Gore Gore Girls (1972)
3. The Dunwich Horror (1970)
4. My Demon Lover (1987)
5. Eegah! (1962)
6. Rebirth Of Mothra (1996)
7. Hell Comes To Frogtown (1987)
8. Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988)
9. The Video Dead (1987)
10. The Beast Of Yucca Flats (1961)

Ten Answers To Smiths/Morrissey Songs, In The Spirit Of 'Stephen, It Was Really Something'

1. What, now... or now?
2. I've heard this one before.
3. Well I still think it's funny.
4. I don't care, I'm still not listening.
5. Why, who are you anyway?
6. Because you keep telling us.
7. No I'm bloody not, skinny.
8. Well, since you asked so nicely, go on then.
9. Same difference.
10. I will not, it's really gone downhill since they renovated the Lock.

Ten People I Often Confuse In My Head

1. John Cale and JJ Cale
2. Kim Deal and Kim Gordon
3. Stuart Pearce and Paul Weller
4. Bernard Langer and Points West presenter Graham Purches
5. Andy Caddick and Tony Hadley

Friday, August 11, 2006

Ten Business Books With Overly Long Titles

1. 'Who Moved My Cheese? An Amazing Way to Deal with Change in Your Work and in Your Life' - Spencer Johnson
2. 'Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realise Your Potential for Lasting Fulfilment' - Martin Seligman
3. 'Advanced Selling Strategies: The Proven System of Sales Ideas, Methods and Techniques Used by Top Salespeople Everywhere' - Brian Tracy
4. 'It's not How Good You Are, It's How Good You Want to Be' – Paul Arden.
5. 'The Pyramid Principle: Present Your Thinking So Clearly That the Ideas Jump Off the Page and into the Reader's Mind' - Barbara Minto
6. 'The Present: The Gift That Makes You Happy and Successful at Work and in Life' - Spencer Johnson
7. 'Fish! Sticks: A Remarkable Way to Adapt to Changing Times and Keep Your Work Fresh' - Steve Lundin
8. 'What Color Is Your Parachute?: A Practical Guide for Job-Hunters and Career Changers' - Richard Nelson Bolles
9. 'How to Be an Even Better Chair: Sensible Advice About Chairing in the Charity, Not-for-Profit and Public Sectors' - Sophie Petit-Zeman
10. 'The 9 Ways of Working: How to Use the Enneagram to Discover Your Natural Strengths and Work More Effectively' - Michael J. Goldberg

*With thanks to the Iron Man.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Ten Phrases That Have Lost All Currency

1. Limited Edition
2. Genius
3. Exclusive!
4. Literally
5. Special
6. Best Ever
7. Public vote
8. The inside story
9. Professional
10. Representative government

Ouch, liddle bitta politics there.