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Sunday, November 27, 2005

Ten Truthful Sayings

1. Dark sky at night, that'd be right / Blue sky in the morning, day must be dawning
2. Remember, remember, bonfire night
3. In something something and something 2, Columbus sailed the ocean blue
4. A stitch in time sounds like something from Doctor Who
5. A Rolling Stone gathers plenty of hangers-on
6. People who live in glass houses smell of compost
7. When the cat's away, the owners will stick badly photocopied pictures of it to every other tree in the street
8. A friend in need is a pain in the arse
9. The early bird is welcome to it
10. Too many cooks spoil my TV viewing pleasure

The Ten Most Boring Things The Most Boring Man In The Pub Said

1. It's so funny, it's so funny, it's so funny
2. You can do it on the computer
3. Actually, I might go to Cheltenham
4. I'm quite an old man now
5. Maradona, he was great
6. Your wedding isn't the best day of your life
7. I used to be a left back
8. If someone slagged my Mum off, I wouldn't like it
9. You don't need Lampard
10. See you again no doubt

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Ten Premiership Footballers I've Never Heard Of Before

1. Myhre
2. Ramage
3. Ashdown
4. Politt
5. Albrechsten
6. Alnwick
7. Khizanishvili
8. Mokoena
9. Faye
10. Jordan

Ten DVDs I Own But Still Haven't Watched

1. The Big Red One
2. Brotherhood
3. Memento
4. Last Exit To Brooklyn
5. Amelie
6. The Asphalt Jungle
7. The L-Shaped Room / Darling
8. Das Boot
9. The Godfather Part III
10. The Beatles Anthology

Ten Things I Didn't Get Round To Doing This Week

1. Having a healthy breakfast
2. Chiselling the plaster off the tiles
3. Making that angry call to my broadband supplier
4. Going to the gym for the first time since I joined 3 months back
5. Quitting my job
6. Finishing that metre-long packet of Jaffa Cakes
7. Calling my brother about Christmas
8. Clearing up the other half of the leaves now frozen to the ground in the back garden
9. Illegally downloading George Harrison's 'Marwa Blues'
10. Getting to work even vaguely on time

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