1. You're fatter and older than you imagine yourself to be.
2. You'll never have a number one single.
3. Your best days are behind you.
4. You're never going to afford that yacht.
5. A kickaround in the park is the highest sporting achievement you can aspire to.
6. The only book inside you is a sadly derivative amateur effort.
7. You never could dance at the best of times: now it's frankly embarassing.
8. That person you've got your eye on is looking straight through you.
9. You can't beat The Man.
10. You're more like your parents than you'd like to admit.