J-Lo's Top Ten Pay Packets*

1. Monster-in-Law (2005): $15m
2= Gigli (2003): $12m
2= Maid In Manhattan (2002): $12m
4= Enough (2002): $10m
4= Shall We Dance (2004): $10m
6= The Wedding Planner (2001): $9m
6= Angel Eyes (2001): $9m
8. Anaconda (1997): $7m
9. The Cell (2000): $6m
10. Jersey Girl (2004): $4m

*Her one good effort: Blood & Wine (1997): $250,000

Ten Innocent Sounding Poisonous Things

1. Cowfish
2. Conus Snail
3. Sea Squirt
4. Flower Pot Mushroom
5. Cherry Sap
6. Dumb Cane
7. Small Postman Butterfly
8. Darling Pea
9. Wild Parsnip
10. Potato Bush

Ten Words You Don't See Enough Of

1. Gouache
2. Thorax
3. Episodic
4. Galloshes
5. Peripatetic
6. Coeval
7. Peraventure
8. Euphonious
9. Gimcrack
10. Rick Astley

Ten Other Similes For Missing You That Are Better Than “Like The Deserts Miss The Rain”

1. Like The Photocopiers Miss The Arse
2. Like The Gunners Miss The Vieira
3. Like The Cats Miss The Nip
4. Like The Furnishes Miss The John
5. Like The Smiths Square Crisps Miss The Blue Salt Bag
6. Like The Completists Miss The Rare Vinyl Only Import
7. Like The Prime Ministers Miss The Support Of Their Grass Roots Party Members
8. Like The Popworld TV Programmes Miss The Original Presenters
9. Like The Super Mario Brothers Miss The Final Golden Key
10. Like The Invasion Plans Miss The UN Resolution

Ten Words That Could Fall Foul Of Predictive Texting

1. Coal
2. Dial
3. Aunt
4. Turf
5. Pict
6. Rips
7. Dual
8. Song
9. Yank
10. Coal (again)

Ten Lazy Journalism Standards

1. Claiming that Colleen Rooney was ever on the cover of Vogue
2. Men’s fashion magazines quoting Rufus Wainwright
3. Backwards writing sentences Yoda a bit like
4. Using “weapons of mass destruction” puns. Still
5. Starting articles with the words “Is it just me…” (short answer: yes)
6. Inventing new words to describe a trend you’ve cobbled together from three coincidental cases
7. Liberal interpretation of the words “exclusive” and “definitive”
8. Exclamation marks used in inverse proportion to points of interest
9. Never using an object or subject when an extra adjective will do
10. “Hilarious” picture captions that begin “XX was beginning to regret…”

Ten Random Odds Of Death

1. Fall from one level to another: 375,902/1
2. Foreign body entering through skin or natural orifice: 161,956/1
3. Legal execution: 55,597/1
4. Assault by fiream 315/1
5. Accidental poisoning through alcohol: 10,493/1
6. Struck by lightning: 56,439/1
7. Transport accident in three-wheeled motor vehicle: 177,380/1
8. Bitten or struck by mammal other than dog: 49,666/1
9. Drowning while falling into (or in) bathtub: 10,582/1
10. Inhalation of gastric contents: 10,095/1

Source: http://www.nsc.org/

Ten Signs Of A Good Night Out

1. Indelible smudge on the back of your hand
2. Lost voice
3. Cheesy tune on constant replay in head
4. More cash in your pocket than you remember going out with
5. Sore legs
6. Blank taxi receipt
7. Half-eaten junk food in fridge
8. Dull ringing in ears
9. Mysterious text messages on phone
10. Finding Chris Moyles funny

Ten Things That Definitely Aren't As Good As They Used To Be

1. KFC's secret recipe
2. Railway stations
3. Saturday morning children's TV
4. The foil seals on coffee jars
5. Use of the word 'guerilla' in general conversation
6. Local football derbies
7. Adverts
8. Public phoneboxes
9. Banks
10. The seasons

Ten Names Of Ikea Products To Send An Icy Chill Through Your Very Heart

1. Glimminge
2. Agne
3. Skubb
4. Kvist
5. Humlarp
6. Ugglarp
7. Centrera Fat
8. Grundton
9. Rival
10. Gorm

Ten Pop Double Negatives

1. I Ain't Got Nobody - Sly & The Family Stone
2. Ain't No Sunshine - Bill Withers
3. Don't Mean Nothing - Nancy Sinatra
4. Never Learn Not To Love - The Beach Boys
5. Ain't Nobody - Rufus And Chaka Khan
6. I Ain't Never Gonna Give You Up - Paula Abdul
7. Ain't No More Cane On The Brazos - The Band
8. Never No More - Aaliyah
9. I Don't Need No Doctor - Ray Charles
10. Never Done Nothing Like That Before - Supergrass

Ten Film Spoilers

1. Soylent Green is people
2. He's a man in drag
3. Bruce Willis is dead too
4. It's the name of his sled
5. It's a made up name: but it's the Cripple you're after
6. The moral is, even if you own up you'll all get crucified anyway
7. Mr Memory has memorised it
8. She was dying of cancer
9. He didn't kill his father: he IS his father
10. He's a Replicant too (possiby)

The Ten Best Named Tube Stations In London

1. Chalfont & Latimer
2. Debden
3. Fairlop
4. Cyprus
5. Mudchute
6. Chorleywood
7. Barkingside
8. Theydon Bois
9. Upney
10. Ickenham

Ten Ace Pharaohs

1. Re'neb
2. Khufu (Cheops)
3. Ay
4. Shoshenq II
5. Peftjauwubast
6. Hotopsekhemwy
7. Takelot II
8. Snefru
9. Queen Twosret
10. Aha

Ten Great Font Names

1. Zebrawood Regular
2. Frutiger
3. Spoleto
4. Wet Napkin
5. Buckeroo
6. Chivalry
7. Monkeyboy
8. Quinquefoliolate
9. Jabbie Junior
10. Wait And Bleed

Ten Half-Decent Punchlines That Aren't '...The Aristocrats!'

1. I know and I'm only thikthteen
2. Ian fell over
3. And the doctor hits it on the head with a cricket bat
4. That's OK, I'm not really a nun - I'm the bus conductor
5. In that case I'll have 20 Marly Lites thanks
6. Oi! Get off my f***ing bonnet!
7. A rabbit on a motorbike
8. And then all of a sudden this brick comes out of nowhere
9. Dot
10. Aaaargh, trying to get tapes from Manchester

With thanks to holymoly.co.uk

Ten Things I Regret Saying Last Night

1. You know Steve don't you?
2. I like your record
3. Hi I played football with you once
4. Who's birthday is it?
5. She slept with who?
6. I was expecting you to have a beard
7. What's your name again?
8. Can you make my friend a birthday cocktail?
9. We need to put the rubbish out
10. We'll go after this one

Ten Classic 'Skip The Middle Bit' Books

1. Being and Nothingness
2. Foucault's Pendulum
3. The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists
4. Vernon God Little
5. Tender is the Night
6. A Confederacy of Dunces
7. One Hundred Years of Solitude
8. Ulysses
9. Anna Karenina
10. The Bible

Pop's Ten Most Awkward Parentheses

1. (White Man) In Hammersmith Palais - The Clash
2. (You Make Me Feel Like A) Natural Woman - Aretha Franklin
3. (Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher & Higher - Jackie Wilson
4. (I’m Always Touched By Your) Presence, Dear - Blondie
5. (You Caught Me) Smilin’ - Sly & The Family Stone
6. (Get A) Grip (On Yourself) - The Stranglers
7. (When You) Call Me - The Style Council
8. (This Is Not A) Love Song - PiL
9. (Song For My) Sugar Spun Sister - The Stone Roses
10. () - Sigur Ros

Ten Phrases That Have Never Been Spoken Truthfully In The History Of People Speaking Aloud

1. It's alright, I was awake anyway
2. With all due respect...
3. It was like that when I found it
4. I was just about to do it
5. I don't mean to interrupt...
6. I'm still listening
7. I'll see what I can do
8. Honestly, I don't mind either way
9. It won't take more than five minutes
10. I don't mean to be rude...