Ten Revealing Entries In The 'Cast Of Characters' Appendix Of Piers Morgan's 'Don't You Know Who I Am?' (Ebury Press)

1. AA Gill - "Absurdly smug and annoying TV critic"
2. Alan Sugar (Sir) - "Permanently angry tycoon"
3. David Aaranovitch - "Fat, miserable Guardian columnist"
4. David Blunkett - "Former Home Secretary, now serial whinger"
5. Ian Hislop - "Professional cynic and part-time editor of Private Eye"
6. John Prescott - "Political laughing stock"
7. Kate Winslet - "Very-pleased-with-herself actress"
8. Pete Doherty - "Singer (allegedly)"
9. Rebecca Loos - "My second cousin, also known for having fling with David Beckham"
10. Rod Liddle - "Britain's ugliest man. Also writes"