Thursday, March 18, 2010
Ten Pieces Of Advice For Movie Baddies
1. Always check under the bed to ensure there aren't any kids about to witness their parents' murder. They have a tendency to grow into kick-ass kung-fu experts or superheroes or somesuch.
2. If you really must include a thermal exhaust port in your plans,
try and avoid a mile-long trench leading straight to it.
3. Don't tell anyone your masterplan - least of all your arch enemy.
Even if you think he's about to die, he invariably won't. He's
annoying like that.
4. Similarly, resist the temptation to tell him how you're going to
kill him before you actually kill him.
5. Not everyone shares your vision of a new utopian society with you in sole charge.
6. In fact, no-one does.
7. You can replace your staff with robots, but you can't trust either.
8. Watch out for your right-hand man too.
9. Underwater kingdoms are really really easy to destroy.
10. Let's face it, whatever happens you're going to end up dying