The Ten Most Impressive Touchline Performances

1. Nagoya Grampus Eight Coach Dragan Stojkovic scores the ‘goal of his life’ from the technical area – and gets sent off for his efforts.

2. The Special One introduces himself to Old Trafford.

3. Dedication’s what you need if you wanna be a Premier League linesman.

4. Phil Brown takes centre stage for a change after Hull avoid relegation.

5. Norwich fans look away know… ’Where are you?’.

6. Arsene Wenger finds some new friends.

7. Cloughie mistakes fans for Roy Keane.

8. Rafa’s perfect 6.0.

9. Fan vs linesman.

10. Entire end vs linesman, AKA You’ll Never Walk Alone.

Ten Footballers Who Think They Can Sing

1. Kevin Keegan invents Bubble Perm Pop.

2. Terry Venables sends the audience into rapture.

3. Andrey Arshavin, looking even more like a 12-year-old than usual.

4. Clint Dempsey – or should we say Deuce?

5. Hoddle ‘n’ Waddle , not taking themselves seriously at all.

6. Waddle again, with Basil Boli dressed as a Beefeater. Of course.

7. John Barnes. Obviously.

8. Andy Cole. Less obviously.

9. Hoddle again, murdering the Beatles.

10. Not even Pet Shop Boy Chris Lowe can save Ian Wright