Ten Words You Don't Hear Very Often These Days

1. Cagoule
2. Forthwith
3. Blimmin'
4. Dachsund
5. Toad-in-the-Hole
6. Garter
7. Seance
8. Woodwork
9. Darn
10. Elevenses

Ten Tips For Successful Living

1. Never enter a pub opposite a railway station.
2. Never talk to a man in a cagoule hood.
3. Never lend soap.
4. Never explain jokes.
5. Never volunteer.
6. Never bet on England.
7. Never own up.
8. Never offer to wash up.
9. Never use baskets to carry eggs.
10. Never read the last page of a book first.

The Ten Dullest Football Autobiography Titles

1. Stephen Gerrard: My Autobiography
2. George Cohen: My Autobiography
3. Greavsie: The Autobiography
4. Banksy: The Autobiography
5. Tom Finney Autobiography
6. Peter Shilton: My Autobiography
7. Jack Charlton: The Autobiography
8. Kevin Keegan: My Autobiography
9. Robbie Folwer: My Autobiography
10. Harry Redknapp: An Autobiography