Ten Odd Things I Overheard and Wrote Down Because They Made Me Laugh

1. "We had a boxer which got killed by a cobra."

2. "Hi, I'm in Bristol!" [overheard in London].

3. "600 million for him is nothing."

4. "He only had a first class suite for their cruise, didn't he? And then they stayed at that cheap hotel in Epping Forest!"

5. "What does that pub sign say? 'My Son's Head'? Oh, Nelson's Head!"

6. "Retrospectively, I did make a slight mistake. I thought it was a tenner and he charged me £65."

7. "He hasn't had a girlfriend in ages. He's been doing his flat up lovely, though."

8. "It's closed for a birthday party. I can't believe they didn't tweet that!"

9. "Did you say he works for EDF?"

10. "You can be John Mills and I'll be Dicky Attenborough."