Ten Tips For Successful Living

1. Never enter a pub opposite a railway station.
2. Never talk to a man in a cagoule hood.
3. Never lend soap.
4. Never explain jokes.
5. Never volunteer.
6. Never bet on England.
7. Never own up.
8. Never offer to wash up.
9. Never use baskets to carry eggs.
10. Never read the last page of a book first.