The Ten Most Miserable Sounding Farrow & Ball Colours

1. Dead Salmon
2. Elephant's Breath
3. Churlish Green
4. Mizzle
5. Savage Ground
6. Clunch
7. Plummett
8. Arsenic
9. Mouse's Back
10. Pitch Black

Ten Words I Refuse To Ever Use

1. Glamping
2. Eurozone
3. Hipster
4. Birther
5. Synergy
6. Utilitarian (when describing clothing)
7. Retrofit
8. Unlike
9. Googleability
10. Leverage (unless it involves some sort of DIY)

Ten Names for Non-Existent Magazines I Found Scribbled On An Old Piece Of Paper

1. The Opinionist
2. Propaganda
3. Control
4. The Invisible Magazine
5. The Coffee House
6. The Modern Times
7. The Monthly Miscellany
8. The Kentish Man
9. The Country Review
10. Goon Squad

A Few of Lord Byron's Names

1. Lord Byron
2. George Gordon Byron
3. George Byron Gordon
4. George Gordon Byron of Byron
5. George Gordon Noel
6. Noel Byron
7. 6th Baron Byron
8. George Byron
9. Byron
10. George

Places I Never Expected to See Former School and College Colleagues and Teachers Crop Up On TV

1. As a spokesperson for the National Lottery
2. Reading the national evening news
3. Arresting drug dealers in Road Wars
4. Operating on drunk patients
5. Giving advice about otters on Countryfile
6. Accidentally walking through the doors of the Big Brother house

Ten Amazing Dylan Songs That To Date Have Only Been Played Once On His Official Website*

1. Can You Please Crawl Out Your Window
2. Meet Me In The Morning
3. Walkin' Down The Line
4. Lay Down Your Weary Tune
5. Let Me Die In My Footsteps
6. No More Auction Block
7. Corrina Corrina
8. Buckets Of Rain
9. As I Went Out One Morning
10. Only A Hobo

*bobdylan.com

Ten Specials from Kathy's Cafe in Eastenders

1. Beale-L-T £3.95
2. Soup of the Day £2.75
3. Steak and Onion Baguette £3.95
4. Full English Breakfast £4.99
5. The Credit Brunch £7.50
6. The Big Beale Burger £6.90
7. Bangers n Mash £7.75
8. Cake of the Day £1.95
9. Knickerbockerglory £1.75
10. Rice Pudding with Jam £2.75

Seven Dulux Colours, One of Which Will Adorn the Dining Room

*Guest Post From The 82a Project*

1. Californian Sands 4
2. Buttercup Fool 5
3. Pharaohs Gold 4
4. Lemon Chiffon 3
5. Golden Fern 3
6. Easter Morn 3
7. Golden Rambler 4

Ten Characters Played By Hattie Jacques in the Carry On Films

1. Miss Sophie Plummett (Carry On Loving)
2. Beattie Plummer (Carry On At Your Convenience)
3. Sgt Laura Moon (Carry On Constable)
4. Miss Haggerd (Carry On Camping)
5. Matron (Carry On Nurse)
6. Matron (Carry On Doctor)
7. Matron (Carry On Agsin Doctor)
8. Matron (Carry On Matron)
9. Captain Clark - Medical Officer (Carry On Sergeant)
10. Frosty-Faced Sister (Carry On Regardless)

Ten Characters Played By Joan Sims in the Carry On Films

1. Sarah Allcock (Carry On Teacher)
2. WPC Gloria Passworthy (Carry On Constable)
3. Lady Joan Ruff-Diamond (Carry On Up the Khyber)
4. Mrs Dangle (Carry On Emmanuelle)
5. Zig-Zig (Follow That Camel)
6. Esme Crowfoot (Carry On Loving)
7. Pvt Ffoukes Sharpe (Carry On England)
8. Mrs Tidey (Carry On Matron)
9. Emily Bung (Carry On Screaming)
10. Cora Flange (Carry On Girls)

The Ten Best Sweets in Harry Potter

1. Earwax Flavoured Bertie Watts Every Flavour Beans
2. Acid Pops
3. Blood Flavoured Lollipops
4. Chocolate Frog
5. Cockroach Clusters
6. Exploding Bonbons
7. Jelly Slugs
8. Fudge Flies
9. Pepper Imps
10. Drooble's Best Blowing Gum

The Ten Most Offensive Foods to Eat on Public Transport

1. Marmite Twiglets
2. Scampi Fries
3. KFC 3 Piece Meal
4. Cheesey Nik-Naks
5. Pot Noodle
6. Rice Krispies (with milk)
7. McDonald's Hamburger (with gherkin)
8. Spare ribs
9. Poutine
10. Anything that comes in a cardboard bucket

Adele's Five Least Successful Albums

1. 43
2. 7
3. 38
4. 72
5. 51

The Seven Ages of Man, as Modelled by Paul McCartney

1. The Cheeky Scouser

2. The Quickening

3. The Idealist

4. The Cynic

5. The Sharecrofter

6. The Contented Dad

7. The Thumbsaloft

One Spambot Message That Deserves Its Own Post

"Into the bank, and you crowd, whereas this was a large coeducational heads about what the speed limit. View of his parents' faces corny here, but I think the nicest gift you can days, when I shared a dormitory suite with several other design-conscious young men. I know for a fact that she can't be too intelligent, because here where I grew up would have been driven caused the Civil War. Shepherds would emerge from the closet, walk up the mysteries about jokes are: How come you can point of view, was that they didn't have much that anybody would want to buy. Was caused by acculturalized did not realize at first that the decline when the house is dark and quiet, they whisper into the child's ear: 'I think I hear. Expressing hostility toward somebody who speak for everybody in North America when men who own winches and freely use words like 'joist' and can build houses starting out with only."

Ten Things Manchester United Could Buy With The Money They're Giving To Wayne Rooney Every Month

1. A £1.50 leaving card for every single public sector worker about to lose their jobs
2. One hundredth of a Joint Strike Fighter jet (or one jet every eight years - two years before the government get their first one)
3. Half of Middlesbrough's Nicky Bailey
4. Season tickets for 1,404 of the 1,500 seats in Old Trafford's East Stand Lower
5. ...or a tenner on every single seat at Old Trafford
6. Four Ferrari 458 Italia supercars
7. Sunderland Football Club's entire interest repayment
8. 11,429 official World Cup 2010 Adidas Jabulani footballs at full price
9. 12% of Trafford General hospital's total debt
10. A thousand defibrillator units

Ten Odd Things I Overheard and Wrote Down Because They Made Me Laugh

1. "We had a boxer which got killed by a cobra."

2. "Hi, I'm in Bristol!" [overheard in London].

3. "600 million for him is nothing."

4. "He only had a first class suite for their cruise, didn't he? And then they stayed at that cheap hotel in Epping Forest!"

5. "What does that pub sign say? 'My Son's Head'? Oh, Nelson's Head!"

6. "Retrospectively, I did make a slight mistake. I thought it was a tenner and he charged me £65."

7. "He hasn't had a girlfriend in ages. He's been doing his flat up lovely, though."

8. "It's closed for a birthday party. I can't believe they didn't tweet that!"

9. "Did you say he works for EDF?"

10. "You can be John Mills and I'll be Dicky Attenborough."

Eight Things You Get With the September 2010 Issue of Italian Vogue That Prove That Print Is Not Dead (Not to Mention 1,476 Pages)

1. Italian Vogue (506 pages)
2. The Grand Couture supplement (168 pages)
3. Vogue Talents - 'Emerging Designers' supplement (34 pages plus wraparound ad)
4. 'Jules of Italy in Hong Kong' promotional insert (24 pages)
5. Vogue Gioiello - 'Thirty Years Of Golden Dreams' magazine (386 pages)
6. Vogue Accessory supplement (358 pages)
7. 1x Camomilla fridge magnet
8. 1x 3D glasses

Ten Staff Recommendation Notes At The Local Waterstones That Begin With 'This Book Made Me Feel…'

1. …Jealous! I wish I had just half the genius of Michelangelo!

2. …That what happens in Degas stays in Degas

3. …Totally ashamed that one could enjoy so much bloody violence

4. …Do you like jelly? If your answer is yes, this book is for you!

5. …Jealous that I don't turn into a beautiful butterfly when I eat too many pies!

6. …I don't know whether this book is offensive or not

7. …Glad I don't have hairy hands

8. …Like I need more pockets!

9. …It may well have your eye out.

10. …Mostly sanitary but not always

Ten Things In The Smallprint of The iTunes Software License I Just Agreed To Without Reading First

1. THE APPLE SOFTWARE IS NOT INTENDED FOR USE IN THE OPERATION OF NUCLEAR FACILITIES, AIRCRAFT NAVIGATION OR COMMUNICATION SYSTEMS, AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL SYSTEMS, LIFE SUPPORT MACHINES OR OTHER EQUIPMENT IN WHICH THE FAILURE OF THE APPLE SOFTWARE COULD LEAD TO DEATH, PERSONAL INJURY, OR SEVERE PHYSICAL OR ENVIRONMENTAL DAMAGE.
2. You agree that Apple and its subsidiaries may collect and use technical and related information, including but not limited to technical information about your computer
3. Apple and its licensors reserve the right to change, suspend, remove, or disable access to any Services at any time without notice.
4. Upon the termination of this License, you shall cease all use of the Apple Software and destroy all copies, full or partial, of the Apple Software.
5. SOME JURISDICTIONS DO NOT ALLOW LIMITATIONS ON HOW LONG AN IMPLIED WARRANTY LASTS, SO THE ABOVE LIMITATION MAY NOT APPLY TO YOU.
6. YOU EXPRESSLY ACKNOWLEDGE AND AGREE THAT …THE ENTIRE RISK AS TO SATISFACTORY QUALITY, PERFORMANCE, ACCURACY AND EFFORT IS WITH YOU.
7. THE APPLE SOFTWARE AND SERVICES ARE PROVIDED "AS IS", WITH ALL FAULTS AND WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND.
8. APPLE DOES NOT WARRANT AGAINST INTERFERENCE WITH YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THE APPLE SOFTWARE OR SERVICES.
9. TO THE EXTENT NOT PROHIBITED BY LAW, IN NO EVENT SHALL APPLE BE LIABLE FOR PERSONAL INJURY, OR ANY INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, INDIRECT OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES WHATSOEVER, INCLUDING, WITHOUT LIMITATION, DAMAGES FOR LOSS OF PROFITS, LOSS OF DATA, BUSINESS INTERRUPTION OR ANY OTHER COMMERCIAL DAMAGES OR LOSSES, ARISING OUT OF OR RELATED TO YOUR USE OR INABILITY TO USE THE APPLE SOFTWARE OR SERVICES, HOWEVER CAUSED, REGARDLESS OF THE THEORY OF LIABILITY.
10. You also agree that you will not use these products for any purposes prohibited by United States law, including, without limitation, the development, design, manufacture or production of missiles, or nuclear, chemical or biological weapons.