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Thursday, December 31, 2009

Ten Things Due To Happen In 2010 According To Science Fiction


1. Eviction of aliens from District 9 begins: Wikus Van De Merwe becomes infected and starts turning into an alien.
2. Drone robots created by humans to carry out construction jobs (Matrix Revolutions)
3. City of San Angeles is created after the Great Earthquake destroys San Diego and Los Angeles (Demolition Man)
4. The US Space shuttle fleet is retired (Enterprise)
5. HAL-9000 is re-activated (2010: The Year We Make Contact)
6. SG-1 attempt to send a message to the past to prevent earth's alliance with the Aschen Confederacy (Stargate)
7. Lars abandons his job as Assistant Director of the New York Aquarium and heads to the North Pole on a whaling boat (Futurama)
8. A new form of space-based energy is adopted (Arthur C Clarke)
9. The first baby is born on Arkadia (Space 1999)
10. Construction begins of the Trans-Atlantic Tunnel (Harlem Heroes, 2000AD)

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The Ten Squarest States In The US (Number One Being Squarest)


1. Wyoming
2. Colorado
3. Kansas
4. North Dakota
5. New Mexico
6. Utah
7. South Dakota
8. Pennsylvania
9. Nebraska
10. Arizona

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Ten Answers To Beach Boys Songs


1. Nice? It would be AMAZING.
2. What, to EAT? Has anyone ever told you, you're really odd?
3. Yeah he's OK, but he's not all that.
4. The answer's in the question if you think about it.
5. Who else would it be?
6. Yes - and we'd like you to share it with the rest of the class, Wilson.
7. No, I'm sorry. We've got work to do. You can't daydream all your life.
8. So does my kid. But he's 18 months old.
9. Oh, now I'm holding you up?
10. That's really not any excuse is it?

Saturday, December 12, 2009

The Ten Most Deadly Animals In The World (Average Annual Fatalities In Brackets)


1. Mosquito (Up to 2,000,000)
2. Snake (Up to 125,000)
3. Scorpion (Up to 2,000)
4. Big Cat (800)
5. Crocodile (Up to 800)
6. Elephant (Up to 500)
7. Hippo (Up to 150)
8=. Jellyfish (100)
8=. Shark (100)
10. Bear (5-10)

Ten Things That Make For Really Dull Lists


1. Favourite records
2. Goals
3. Items of shopping
4. Things to do
5. Gigs
6. Friends
7. Lovers
8. Achievements
9. Resolutions
10. Lists

My Top Ten Songs Of The Decade, Determined By The Number Of Plays On iTunes (Regardless Of Whether They Were Actually Released In The Last Ten Years)


1. Shack - Happy Ever After
2. Madonna - Burning Up
3. Robert Wyatt - At Last I Am Free
4. Brian Eno - Needles In The Camel's Eye
5. The Association - Never My Love
6. Beachwood Sparks - By My Side
7. Electrelane - More Than This
8. The Beatles - Come And Get It
9. David Bowie - A New Career In A New Town
10. Flowered Up - It's On

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Ten Irish Writers Recommended By Kevin Rowland


1. Oscar Wilde
2. Brendan Behan
3. Sean O'Casey
4. George Bernard Shaw
5. Samuel Beckett
6. Eugene O'Neill
7. Edna O'Brien
8. Lawrence Stern
9. Philip Casey
10. Paeder Kearney

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Ten Bands I've Somehow Managed To Avoid Seeing Live


1. Oasis
2. Pixies
3. St Etienne
4. Morrissey
5. Portishead
6. Bruce Springsteen
7. David Bowie
8. Grace Jones
9. Depeche Mode
10. Kraftwerk

Monday, October 05, 2009

Ten Uses of the Verbs 'Sough'/'Slough' by Norman Mailer


1. "...the soughing of surf" ('The Naked And The Dead')
2. "After a hundred yards they were forced to slough through..." ('The Naked And The Dead')
3. "Live with your cowardice… Hate it or defend it, but don't try to slough it off." ('The Spooky Art: Some Thoughts On Writing')
4. "…a New England wind… came soughing out of the sky" ('Advertisements For Myself')
5. "…even the sloughing of prejudice, particularly when it is abrupt, partakes of the naive" ('Advertisements For Myself')
6. "...the wind soughed through the draws" ('The Naked And The Dead')
7. "Whatever strait-jacket there had been about his movements lately would be sloughed off…" ('The Naked And The Dead')
8. "…as he had sloughed off Hearn" ('The Naked And The Dead')
9. "The president was, after all, getting into the same slough of muddy reasoning as the liberals" ('How the Wimp Won the War')
10. "there is still hope for me if only I can slough the hundred crimes upon my head" ('Barbary Shore')

Top Ten Causes of Injury in the Street in 1887 (number of injuries in brackets)


1. Light Cart (1,138)
2. Cabs (919)
3. Vans (683)
4. Omnibuses and Cars (346)
5. Broughmans and Carriages (345)
6. Heavy Carts (153)
7. Horses Ridden (135)
8. Wagons and Drays (133)
9. Covered Vehicles (67)
10. Velocipedes (53)

Monday, September 07, 2009

Ten Lessons I Learnt From My Brother


1. Everything sounds funny in a West Country accent
2. The glass is always full
3. The Greatest Love Of All is an awesome song by George Benson, not a crappy song by Whitney Houston
4. There's always time
5. The weaker sex is the one that thinks one sex is weaker
6. You can solve most things with a smile
7. Never be scared of straight lines
8. Stay friends with your exes
9. You can usually rely on a farmer to pull you out of a ditch
10. Always be the good guy

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Ten Nuclear Strategies Considered By WOPR (War Operations Plan Response) In The Film Wargames


1. Sudan Surprise
2. Hong Kong Variant
3. Venezuela Sudden
4. Seato Decapitating
5. English Escalation
6. Chad Alert
7. Iraq Sovereignty
8. Mongolian Thrust
9. Turkish Heavy
10. Bulgarian Clandestine

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

The Ten Worst Ideas That Have Been Touched By The Hand Of 'McG'


1. Charlie's Angels
2. Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle
3. Terminator Salvation
4. Terminator 5
5. The 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea remake
6. The Revenge of the Nerds remake
7. Hot Wheels
8. Offspring's Pretty Fly (For A White Guy) video
9. The Spaced Remake
10. His name

Ten Arsenal Football Clubs


1 FK Arsenal, Serbia
2 FK Arsenal, Montenegro
3 FC Arsenal Kyiv, Ukraine
4 Arsenal Wanderers, Mauritius
5 Arsenal de Sarandí, Argentina
6 Arsenal (Maseru), Lesotho
7 Berekum Arsenal, Ghana
8 FC Arsenal Kazanlak, Bulgaria
9 Arsenal FC (Roatan), Honduras
10 FC Arsenal-Tula Tuka (Russia)

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Ten Things 'They' Will Probably Consider Bringing The Face Magazine Back As


1. A Twitter update
2. A ringtone
3. An iPhone 'App'
4. One of those papers you find at the bottom of the escalators in the tube
5. A 'brand extension' 
6. A banner ad
7. A ROFLcopter
8. Zoo with more fashion-related breasts
9. A social network
10. All of the above

Monday, June 22, 2009

The Ten Best Gay Cars of 2009*


1. Audi A4 - Best Car for the Gay Professional
2. Infiniti AX - Best Car for the New Gay Family
3. Maserati Gran Turismo S - Best Boy Toy
4. Honda Civic GX Natural Gas Vehicle - Best Green Queen
5. Mitsubishi Lancer GTS - Best Gay Teen Machine
6. Saab 9-3 Lynx Yellow Convertible - Best Topless Go-Go Getter
7. Nissan Maxima - Best Cruiser for the Trendy Gay Man
8. Ford Flex - Best Retro Flagship
9. Ford Glass Top Mustang - Top Gadget God
10. Erm, there's only 9

*According to www.about.com's Gay Life section

Friday, June 19, 2009

Ten Managementspeak Slogans


1 There’s no YOU in OUR FIVE YEAR PLAN
2 You can’t have your stupid TEAM MEETING without ME
3 There’s a big I in QUIT
4 There’s none of US in TEAMWORK
5 LUNCH is for STARTERS
6 Never make the same mistake twice unless you're absolutely sure you can get away with it again
7 You’ve got your TOTAL TRANSPARENCY back to front
8 I’ve tried 360 THINKING but I ended up where I started
9 Never ask WILL THIS DO (it probably will)
10 If we take U out of THE NEIGHBOURHOOD it makes no difference to our American bosses

Friday, May 22, 2009

Ten Candidates For The 1860 Republican Presidential Nomination (Who Weren't Called Abraham Lincoln)


1. William H Seward, New York (173.5 votes in first ballot)
2. Edward Bates, Missouri
(48 votes)
3. William Lewis Dayton, New Jersey (14 votes)
4. John C Frémont, California
(1 vote)
5. Salmon Portland Chase, Ohio (49 votes)
6. Jacob Collamer, Vermont
(10 votes)
7. Simon Cameron, Pennsylvania (50.5 votes)
8. John McLean, Ohio (12 votes)
9. Benjamin Franklin Wade, Ohio (3 votes)
10. Cassius Marcellus Clay, Kentucky (0 votes)