Ten Words You Don't Hear Very Often These Days

1. Cagoule
2. Forthwith
3. Blimmin'
4. Dachsund
5. Toad-in-the-Hole
6. Garter
7. Seance
8. Woodwork
9. Darn
10. Elevenses

Ten Tips For Successful Living

1. Never enter a pub opposite a railway station.
2. Never talk to a man in a cagoule hood.
3. Never lend soap.
4. Never explain jokes.
5. Never volunteer.
6. Never bet on England.
7. Never own up.
8. Never offer to wash up.
9. Never use baskets to carry eggs.
10. Never read the last page of a book first.

The Ten Dullest Football Autobiography Titles

1. Stephen Gerrard: My Autobiography
2. George Cohen: My Autobiography
3. Greavsie: The Autobiography
4. Banksy: The Autobiography
5. Tom Finney Autobiography
6. Peter Shilton: My Autobiography
7. Jack Charlton: The Autobiography
8. Kevin Keegan: My Autobiography
9. Robbie Folwer: My Autobiography
10. Harry Redknapp: An Autobiography

Ten Songs That Inexplicably Pop Up In My Head With Alarming Regularity

1. Flag Day - The Housemartins
2. We Work The Black Seam - Sting
3. You Little Thief - Feargal Sharkey
4. Sonny's Letter - Wet Wet Wet
5. South American Getaway - Burt Bacharach
6. Spies Like Us - Paul McCartney
7. Puff The Magic Dragon - Peter, Paul and Mary
8. Love Is All Around - The Troggs
9. Time To Get Alone - The Beach Boys
10. I Know A Song That'll Get On Your Nerves (Traditional)

Fashion Magazine Examination: Paper ii: Reading Comprehension

Answer as many questions as possible in the time allowed...

1. Copy below the exact same sentence copied directly from a press release that appears in two or more magazines' 'upfront' sections this month: ____________ (10 points per magazine)
2. List one thing you would actually want from the Christmas guide in any magazine of your choosing: __________ (100 points)
3. Find the magazine with the smallest number of pages between the cover and the contents page: __________ (1-10 pages: 100 points; 11-50 pages: 50 points; 51-100 pages: 10 points; 101+ pages: 1 point)
4. Estimate how many of the readers' letters come from genuine readers: __________ (find three or more: 100 points)
5. Count the number of items in the 'down' section of barometers that are championed elsewhere in the same magazine: _________ (50 points per item)
6. Estimate the total number of people who will heed the advice in all of the sex/beauty/style/health columns this month: _________ (100 points for a correct answer to the nearest 2)
7. For each magazine, divide the number of pages in total by the number of adverts. If your answer is greater than 2, award yourself a bonus 100 points.
8. Count the number of times the words "Exclusive", "Sexy", "Literally" and "Collector's Item" are used in the correct context: _________ (200 points per instance)
9. Using your skill and judgement, provide a logical link between the various features mentioned in the editor's letter (points awarded out of 100 at examiner's discretion)
10. Tie-break question: try and find a negative word in any magazine describing the company advertising on its back cover. Write the word here: ____________

Ten Inappropriate Kitten Names Suggested By www.kitten-names.com

1. Spunky
2. Xerox
3. Pie
4. Fajita
5. Migraine
6. Death Breath
7. Casserole
8. BJ
9. Boozer
10. Sirloin

Ten Things That Will Never Be As Good As They Used To Be

1. Michael Jackson.
2. The Colonel's Secret Recipe.
3. Steve Martin.
4. Nottingham Forest.
5. The Welfare State.
6. The Bill.
7. George Lucas.
8. Punk rockers.
9. Trains.
10. Birthdays.

Ten Intriguingly Titled Blogs

1. Geek And Poke
2. Nurse Ratched's Place
3. Rickety Contrivances Of Doing Good
4. I'm OK - You Need Meds
5. The Mustn't Grumble
6. The Jar With Peanuts
7. Again! Again!
8. A Few Intelligent Thoughts From A Brain Dead Jock
9. My Splatter Painted Life
10. Poop Tube

Ten Types Of People I Don't Trust

1. People who wear the flag of St George when not inside football stadiums.
2. People who don't like The Beatles.
3. People in a leather jackets but not on motorbikes.
4. People who don't wear socks.
5. People who have colonic irrigation.
6. People who never come to the pub.
7. People who are always in the pub.
8. Ex-hippies.
9. Anthony Worrall Thompsons.
10. Anyone who makes sweeping generalisations about types of people.

The Ten Best Trivial Pursuit Questions

1. What did 100,000 self-conscious American women buy 200,000 of in 1980? (A: Breast implants)
2. Do porcupines masturbate? (A: Yes)
3. What did the first Spanish dog to be fitted with contact lenses not see the day after the fitting? (A: The car that killed him)
4. Who was the official hair consultant to the 1984 Los Angeles Olympics? (A: Vidal Sassoon)
5. Who once warned: "Never eat more than you can lift"? (A: Miss Piggy)
6. What African animal's name is made up of the letters n, g and u? (A: Gnu)
7. What salad dressing does the 'special sauce' on a Big Mac most closely resemble? (A: Thousand Island)
8. What was the surname of the American Civil War general who has lent his name to prostitutes? (A: Hooker)
9. How many rings make up an arm on a Michelin Man? (A: Four)
10 What is Canada's most prevalent goose? (A: The Canada Goose)

Ten Ways To Make A Radical Stand Against The Modern World In General

1. On the London Underground, only read adult-sized newspapers which you paid for.
2. In bars, ask for drinks you haven't seen advertised on TV.
3. Interact with your friends by going round their house for tea.
4. Buy clothing based entirely on comfort and value for money.
5. Spend your weekends in places with no phone reception.
6. Make something out of wood and string.
7. Write a letter using a pen.
8. And then post it.
9. Support the football team that's closest geographically to your house.
10. Smile at strangers.

Ten Winners Of Ridiculous Pop Polls

1. The Beatles - 'Sgt Pepper's Lonley Hearts Club Band' (HMV/C4/Guardian Top 100 Albums of the Millennium, 1997)*
2. ELO - 'Livin' Thing' (Q magazine Top 50 Guilty Pleasures, 2006)
3. The Wolfe Tones - 'A Nation Once Again' (BBC World Service World's Favourite Song, 2002)
4. U2 - 'One' (Q magazine 1001 Best Songs Ever, 2003)
5. Nirvana - 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' (VH1 Greatest Song Of The Past 25 Years, 2003)
6. Oasis - 'Live Forever' (Q magazine 100 Greatest Songs Ever, 2006)
7. Bob Dylan - 'Like A Rolling Stone' (Rolling Stone magazine 500 Greatest Songs Of All Time, 2004)
8. Radiohead - 'OK Computer' (C4 100 Best Albums Of All Time)
9. Oasis - 'Definitely Maybe' (Q magazine Best British Albums, 2004)
10. Michael Jackson - 'Billie Jean' (Blender magazine 500 Greatest Songs Since You Were Born, 2005)

*Earliest year of said millennium actually represented by the poll: 1959

Ten Uninspiring Dulux Heritage Paint Colours

1. Waiting Room Green
2. Light Buff
3. Biscuit Beige
4. Panel White
5. Linen Colour
6. Drab
7. Eau De Nil
8. Tin White
9. Lead Colour
10. Dark Brown

Ten B-Movies Yet To Have US College Bands Named After Them

1. The Abominable Dr Phibes (1971)
2. The Gore Gore Girls (1972)
3. The Dunwich Horror (1970)
4. My Demon Lover (1987)
5. Eegah! (1962)
6. Rebirth Of Mothra (1996)
7. Hell Comes To Frogtown (1987)
8. Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988)
9. The Video Dead (1987)
10. The Beast Of Yucca Flats (1961)

Ten Answers To Smiths/Morrissey Songs, In The Spirit Of 'Stephen, It Was Really Something'

1. What, now... or now?
2. I've heard this one before.
3. Well I still think it's funny.
4. I don't care, I'm still not listening.
5. Why, who are you anyway?
6. Because you keep telling us.
7. No I'm bloody not, skinny.
8. Well, since you asked so nicely, go on then.
9. Same difference.
10. I will not, it's really gone downhill since they renovated the Lock.

Ten People I Often Confuse In My Head

1. John Cale and JJ Cale
2. Kim Deal and Kim Gordon
3. Stuart Pearce and Paul Weller
4. Bernard Langer and Points West presenter Graham Purches
5. Andy Caddick and Tony Hadley

Ten Business Books With Overly Long Titles

1. 'Who Moved My Cheese? An Amazing Way to Deal with Change in Your Work and in Your Life' - Spencer Johnson
2. 'Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realise Your Potential for Lasting Fulfilment' - Martin Seligman
3. 'Advanced Selling Strategies: The Proven System of Sales Ideas, Methods and Techniques Used by Top Salespeople Everywhere' - Brian Tracy
4. 'It's not How Good You Are, It's How Good You Want to Be' – Paul Arden.
5. 'The Pyramid Principle: Present Your Thinking So Clearly That the Ideas Jump Off the Page and into the Reader's Mind' - Barbara Minto
6. 'The Present: The Gift That Makes You Happy and Successful at Work and in Life' - Spencer Johnson
7. 'Fish! Sticks: A Remarkable Way to Adapt to Changing Times and Keep Your Work Fresh' - Steve Lundin
8. 'What Color Is Your Parachute?: A Practical Guide for Job-Hunters and Career Changers' - Richard Nelson Bolles
9. 'How to Be an Even Better Chair: Sensible Advice About Chairing in the Charity, Not-for-Profit and Public Sectors' - Sophie Petit-Zeman
10. 'The 9 Ways of Working: How to Use the Enneagram to Discover Your Natural Strengths and Work More Effectively' - Michael J. Goldberg

*With thanks to the Iron Man.

Ten Phrases That Have Lost All Currency

1. Limited Edition
2. Genius
3. Exclusive!
4. Literally
5. Special
6. Best Ever
7. Public vote
8. The inside story
9. Professional
10. Representative government

Ouch, liddle bitta politics there.

Ten Alternatives To Air Guitar

1. Air Trombone
2. Air Cello
3. Air Harmonica
4. Air Theramin
5. Air Xylophone
6. Air Harp
7. Air Banjo
8. Air Washboard
9. Air One Man Band
10. Air Jew's Harp

Ten Post-Punk Movements That Are Mentioned In 'Rip It Up And Start Again' By Simon Reynolds

1. 'Perverted Disco'
2. 'Avant-funk'
3. 'Motorik'
4. 'No Wave'
5. 'New Musick'
6. 'Meta-punk'
7. 'Scratchy-collapsy'
8. 'New Psychedelia'
9. 'Mutant Disco'
10. 'Industrial Devolution'